Midnight Runner
by Indulgery
Summary: Bella Swan's family was murdered five years ago. Now working as a journalist in Seattle, she is called to report on a string of murders very similar to her parents'. When Alice comes into the picture, Bella's life is turned around once more.
1. Chapter 1

New here! So please be kind and review. I'm not a practiced writer. In fact, "not practiced" is an understatement. But anyway. You know the rules here. I don't own the characters, just the 'original' ideas they are placed inside. Stephanie owns these peeps and she's done some horrible things to them... But anywho, here it is. Hope you enjoy it.

**Prologue**

The forest around me seemed to be closing in from every angle, the trees surrounding me looking to fold me into their rigid embrace. My body shivered as a dampness grew on my palms, making it impossible for me to keep my grip on the stump I was trying to steady myself with. I fell to the ground, knocking the breath from me as the dewy grass soaked through my jeans. My head was pounding and at that point I really found no reason to try to get up, and a large part of me hoped that I could just sink into the ground and disintegrate. Without a single drop of self-worth in my body, I lay there hoping the painful pressure in my chest would fade. In the span of minutes my life had been turned on it's end and became something I did not want to recognize. The terror I faced was too strong inside, and I knew I had to block the memory the best I could just to keep myself sane. I could feel my mind slipping the more it looked back to the event I had just witnessed. My body was tired from running, my heart sore from the anxiety.

Hours went by, the sun seeped past the trees and I watched the stars take it's place in the sky. I couldn't feel the cold winter breeze. My limbs were numb and the hairs on my arms stood on end, but the burning inside seemed to have left me. My family was gone. Dead. And I was here, hoping the same fate might meet me in the absence of pain, however unlikely. My eyes drooped and a welcoming, sleepy heaviness fell on me. Just as my eyes were about to shut, weak white lights and footsteps made their way to me. I could only hope I would die before they found me.

**Chapter One**

5 years later.

The anniversary of my family's death was never easy, but I had come to handle it with a coldness that was learned over the past few years. I would get out of bed, wash, go to work and speak with my coworkers just like every other day. I would come home to my empty house and try to pretend that it had always been that way. It was unusual how even still it felt so hollow and I usually kept myself busy elsewhere until I felt the need to sleep. I always grudgingly took the steps up to the front door and nearly ran to my old bedroom upstairs, or the back porch to smoke. The master bedroom on the main floor was always locked, and I refused to ever go inside.

It was my 18th birthday when they left me, so the house was my own, in my name in their will and paid for. After two weeks in the hospital from my hypothermia, I was left with the decision to either leave Forks to live with distant relatives or stay. I didn't like the idea of having to adjust to a new family, so I convinced everyone I was mentally stable enough to live on my own, a kind doctor lending me his word to attest to the fact. I didn't return to school for a month and kept to myself as much as I could manage, but I knew the only way I could continue was to force myself. I finished my education with a BA in journalism and spent some time traveling. I didn't know where I was going. I did anything I could to distract myself, drifting from place to place. But I was compelled to return to Washington for reasons I still don't know. I guess the sentimental fool inside of me had more control than I thought.

_Five years._ I shook my head, walking to the back porch. It faced West, so on the rare occasion the sun was unobstructed I could watch it set. I lit a cigarette and sat on the cushioned bench just outside, letting the sun bathe me in an unfamiliar warmth. Forks was always cold and rainy, but today was one of those days, ironically, void of the usual weather. I took a drag, breathing in then out slowly and watched the smoke wither away in the air. I filled my lungs again and saw the sun drift further down the horizon before I took out a stack of Apartment brochures from my jacket pocket and placed them before me. I don't know why I collected them. Every time I was about to sign a lease I backed out, the house pulling me back in. Sentimental fool was right.

My phone chirped, taking my mind from my task and I considered not answering. I really didn't feel like socializing tonight. I never did on this day, but the call was from work. Probably somebody from the office who was unclear as to why I scrapped their story.

"Hello?"

"Hey beautiful." Jacob's deep voice echoed in my ears and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you remember the sexual harassment clause in my contract? I'm not there to flirt with you, I'm there to edit columns."

"Yeah, but we're on off time and I thought I could buy you a drink?" His voice sounded sincere enough. "We're friends, Bella, I'm just trying to pull you out of your hole."

I got a job at Seattle Metropolitan as an editor on staff. It was a decent job and kept me busy enough and the city always gave me something to do after I got off work. Jacob Black was a good journalist but he was flirty as hell. Despite that, I had formed a friendship with him, even if I had to occasionally tell him to back off. He always made me laugh and his smile was infectious. But today wasn't the day.

"I don't know, Jacob. I'm tired." I pulled the cigarette back to my lips and blew the smoke out loudly in a sigh. "Besides, I'm not much of a drinker. You get a couple drinks in me and I start acting silly."

"Well, that's the point!" I could hear the smile in his voice and couldn't help the one that threatened to creep on me. "You smoke those nasty cigs, but you wont have a drink with your best buddy?"

"I'm trying to quit." I let a small laugh escape, but I felt the weight of the anniversary on my body. I took another drag and rested my cancer stick on an ash tray beside me.

"Bullshit. I'm coming to get you. We'll go to that dinky local bar and have a beer. I bet you twenty bucks I'll get you to watch the game with me!"

I let the smile form. I could never help it, no matter how depressed I was. He always managed to cheer me up, but I wasn't sure he could do it tonight. Still, I could feel myself relenting. "Fine. I'll go get ready. I'll be outside waiting for you."

"Yes! Alright, I'm on the way." We hung up and I grudgingly made my way to the bathroom to fix my windblown hair.

We walked into the bar that sat across the street from my high school. The Brew was by no means luxurious. It was old and the smell of beer wafted from every surface of every table and every inch of floor. They didn't sell liquor but they allowed you to bring a bottle as long as you bought something. Every game night it was packed with the familiar faces of Forks, yelling at the players on the screen and placing bets. The large, plasma television that hung from the back wall didn't fit the décor at all. It was the only thing, I guess, they thought worthy of upgrading.

The sheriff sat at the end of the bar and immediately waved a quiet hello to me as I walked in, not meeting my eyes. He was an old friend of my father's. I waved back quickly before hiding behind Jacob and moving forward to a table. Martha wasn't behind the bar, so we waited for the waitress to come take our orders.

Martha was the barmaid and she happened to work in the attendance office at Forks High during the day, so it was a unusual whenever I made a rare stop here. The woman once reprimanding me as a kid for not bringing my absent notes was serving me alcohol as an adult. It was a little awkward. I half expected her to swat my hands away whenever I touched a beer.

Jacob's eyes were magnetized to the screen where two football teams were tied at the third quarter. "Okay, third quarter. That means they are about a third of the way through the game. Each time they score a 'touchdown,'" He condescendingly made air quotes, briefly meeting my eyes. "That means the team has scored 7 points."

"Jacob, I know the general rules of football." I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not a complete moron, you know. I do edit your sports column." By the time I gave my rebuttal, though, Jacob's eyes were back to the TV and it had fallen on deaf ears.

"Hey guys, can I get you anything?" A jovial, wispy voice broke the love affair quickly enough as we both moved our focus to the waitress.

She was a new face. I never saw her before and I couldn't help but stare at her. She was unnaturally beautiful standing at about 5 foot 2 or so, pale skin, with short black hair that pointed in every direction and... _golden_ eyes. Deep golden eyes, and the sight of them made me...I couldn't describe the feeling. Her gaze met my own and I blushed as she caught me starring. I could almost feel the flies about to float into my open mouth and I clamped my it shut, feeling the heat swarm over my face and neck. _Ugh... I'm a fool. _

"You're Bella Swan, aren't you?" Her voice startled me, nearly making me jump out of my seat. Jacob looked upon my awkward form and chuckled. I would've glared at him had I not been distracted by the girl standing in front of me.

"Uh, yes. I'm sorry, I... don't recognize you." I nearly stuttered the last part, hoping she wasn't somebody I should know. I was almost certain I had never seen her before. No, I would have remembered her.

"I read your magazine. I love your book column." She smiled warmly, not a drop of shyness in her demeanor. I wish I could say the same for myself. "You're a witty writer, and I have to say you have some great recommendations." Her smile widened into a grin as she pulled out a notepad and looked at us both expectantly. "Now what can I get you guys?"

Jacob looked at me out of the corner of his eye in a mock suspicion before moving his attention back to the her. "I'll take a Blue Moon, please." His eyes went straight back to the game.

"And you, Ms. Swan?" One black, perfectly shaped eyebrow rose in question at me and I nearly choked on my words. "Oh, please, don't call me 'ms.' Just Bella, it doesn't make me feel old." I laughed a little, my blush impossibly deeper. "And I'll take a Moosehead, please. You have that, right?"

She smiled. I was so nervous... and I really had no idea why. I wasn't a socialite by any means but I was certainly more graceful in conversation than I was tonight. My tongue seemed to swell in my mouth. "Of course, _Bella_, coming right up." She decided her notepad wasn't necessary, placing it back in her pouch and putting her hands on her waist. "If you guys need anything else, just ask for Alice and I'll be around." She said in her wind-chime voice before moving off to help another customer.

When she was out of earshot, Jacob turned back to me with a curious expression and a hint of a smirk on his tan face. "What was that about? You look like a tomato." He chuckled again before taking a hairband from his wrist and pulling his hair back into a ponytail. "I don't think I've ever seen you choke on your words like that."

I looked away, embarrassed. "You know I'm not the most eloquent speaker, Jacob." I said, pretending to watch the football game. "Why do you think I write?" I could see the smirk still present on him in the corner of my eye and relaxed as he looked towards the screen to see the Redskins score. "Yes!"

I settled into my thoughts again, ghostly pale skin sinking back into memory. _I haven't seen skin that white since..._ I pushed the it back, pushing the memory away as a ball of emotion dropped into my throat.

Alice came back into view, carrying a small tray with the two beers. Her smile was directed at me again and I felt a small shiver move through my body. _Jesus... _"Here you are." She placed the Moosehead down in front of me, bending to open the drinks with a small bottle opener connected to a key chain. She hovered there a moment longer and I felt my eyes move to her low cut shirt before quickly averting them to her face again. _Oh God._ She obviously caught the glance and her smile turned into a knowing grin. _Shit._

"On the house." She winked at me and then quickly moved back to the bar where Martha had reappeared cleaning a mug.

"I saw that." Jacob's booming voice brought me back to reality and his eyes glowed with mischief. "I didn't know you swung that way. No wonder you can resist my boyish charms." He placed two hands under his chin and batted his eyelashes.

I blinked at him, taking a swig of my beer and pulling out a cigarette. "Oh stop it." I brushed him off, playfully smacking his arm. He grinned and took his own beer by the top. "You, my friend, are still blushing. It gives you away." He took a sip. "So, did yo get a chance to look at my draft?"

Thankful for the change of subject, I nodded and let the conversation move into calmer waters. We hung around the bar for an hour or so before we finally left, Alice checking in a couple times. Thankfully the beer had loosened me up a little and I managed to answer her without stumbling so much. Even a little inebriated her smile was disarming, but Jacob was kind enough to relent with the jabs. He dropped me off at home, giving me a one-armed hug before playfully pushing me out of his Volkswagen Rabbit. Unexpectedly, he rolled down the window. "Oh, and happy 23rd birthday!" I narrowed my eyes and he laughed as he drove away.

I sighed in relief before making my way inside and settled down to go to bed, the alcohol numbing my mind for the time being. My nightmares kept themselves away for the night and I slept peacefully, a blessing I will never take for granted again.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to all who read and reviewed. I appreciate the kind word! I hope you continue to like my fic.

**Chapter Two**

I loved grocery shopping, but for some reason I hadn't done much of it in the past few years. With no one to cook for, I guess I didn't see the point. But from time to time I would treat myself to a nice home-cooked meal, and tonight would be one of those nights. My job was increasingly stressful the past two weeks since my boss added to my workload. It was enough to juggle editing and writing my own column, one that required me to read a new book every week. Now he had also given me the task of researching and writing on a trend of murders in downtown Seattle, a subject I was far from inclined to enjoying.

On top of all of that, my mind had been wandering in unexpected places. I found myself wanting to return to The Brew, and I knew deep down that the reason behind the urge was the sultry waitress I met there. Alice had floated into my thoughts more than a few times since I last saw her and I was incredibly confused as to why. It was frustrating, for lack of a better word. I guess it was because I had never really been complimented by a stranger who read my writing, and I was pleased to know someone like her could find it 'witty.' Her charisma was palpable and to think she found me at all capable of writing a coherent thought in a 'witty' way was a great compliment. ...Even with reasoning it didn't make sense.

I strolled into the grocery store and immediately went for the veggie section. I usually ate pretty healthy; I kept a bag of carrots in my office fridge and nibbled on them to keep myself from eating the chocolates on Jacob's desk. I grabbed a bag of babycarrots and then collected some asparagus and broccoli for the evening, taking more than I really needed. _Maybe I'll cook salmon... _Thinking about what I needed, I went to the spices and selected some basil, garlic and parsley before moving on to retrieve a few other little things I needed to stock up on. Finally making my way to the fish section, I picked up the last thing I needed before making my way to the cash register.

A small dainty figure moved into my vision and my heart stopped. The very girl who had been crossing my mind was in line with a basket full of food. She was impeccably dressed in a black pair of skinny jeans and a flowing white shirt with a cute gray buttoned vest, a black purse dangling from her shoulder.

I made my way slowly and stopped behind her. Only one register was open and there were several people in front of us waiting to be checked out. My breathing stopped and I wondered if maybe I should say something...

Before I could do anything, Alice turned around curiously and met my eyes. Her face brightened in recognition instantly and I know I must've been beat red. "Oh, hey Bella!" She grins, turning to face me fully.

"Hey, Alice. Weird bumping into you here." I smile sheepishly, trying to will down the volcano erupting inside of me.

"I know, what a coincidence. How are you? I haven't seen you back at the bar for a little while." It had only been two weeks, but it had felt like longer. All of the work I had in front of me...

"Yeah, I've been real busy since. My boss decided to dump another project on me." I rolled my eyes, beginning to feel a little more comfortable. I still spoke carefully, SOMEHOW managing not to choke, stutter or pause too long. "How have you been?"

Her smile reveals perfect teeth and I can tell (or I hope) she's genuinely happy to see me."I've been great. The bar has been pretty dead for a while so it's been easy going. I haven't worked in a bar in so long, it's been a lot of fun." Her eyes brightened and looked down to my basket. "Whatcha got there?"

I smiled at her enthusiasm. Her happiness was infectious. It even puts Jacob to shame. "Just some salmon and vegetables. I figured I would cook dinner for once tonight."

She cocked her head sideways a little in question. "Does your boyfriend do the cooking?" I saw something in her eyes I couldn't identify, but the smile was still there. She kept her eyes on my own and she chuckled as she saw the fright that creeped into them. "Ohhhhh no, Jacob isn't my boyfriend." I shook my head, trying not to choke on my own saliva. "I'm sure he would like that, but he's just a good friend."

Her smile grew a tiny bit and she giggled a little as that strange look in her eye dissipated... "Oh, I'm sorry for the mistake. I just thought..." She closed her eyes for a brief moment, shaking her head. When she opened them again her smile was back in full-force and I couldn't help but smile back. "Well, anyway. You should come by the bar tonight. I'd love to sit and chat books with you. I've gotten so many great titles from your column. I think we have similar tastes." She spoke quickly, _almost_ nervously, stepping backward to move with the line.

The smile on my face felt like it was stuck there. She wants to talk books with _me_. Wow. "Sure, I'd love to. What time do you go to work?" I felt my heart skip a beat and followed her lead to move forward again as another customer finished checking out.

"In about an hour. I was just going to drop this stuff off at home and head over there." She began placing her items on the conveyer belt and pulled out a wallet from her purse. "I work till midnight. Come over any time and I'll take my break."

"Sure thing." I felt a certain... giddiness. _Weird._

I watched her as she paid and gathered her things. She turned... and caught me starring again, and it didn't help that my blush would have given me away if she hadn't. That knowing smile was back and I could feel my stomach do a back-flip. She winked and sent me a small wave. "See you later, _Ms. Swan_."

I made my way to The Brew, half of me excited to talk to Alice and the other half wanting to speed right back to my house out of an unidentified fear. This strange feeling inside of me was beginning to get on my nerves since I couldn't place why it continued to grip me. My instincts were trying to tell me something, but I was absolutely clueless to what that something was.

I tried to ignore it as I sat in my truck, the same old rusty thing I inherited on my 16th birthday from the junkyard. In the passenger seat sat a pile of work I hadn't completed at the office and I figured since Alice might be busy when I got inside I would finish it up while I waited. It gave me another reason to leave the house, I guess. It was impossible for me to do any of it there with all of the distractions. I once tried to write a review on the living room couch and ended up falling asleep with my laptop open, a game of Spider Solitaire glaring at me when I woke up.

I picked up the stack and finally opened my door to go inside. I had changed into what I thought was more suitable attire, getting out of my skirt and blazer to exchange them for a pair of comfy skinny jeans and an old baseball shirt. Remembering suddenly what Alice was wearing at the grocery store, I suddenly felt under dressed...going to _The Brew_, of all places. _Please, Bella, stop being so anxious. _

I walked inside...and immediately tripped over a loose floor board, my folders flying from my hands as I steadied myself. I somehow managed to not land on my face, stumbling and staying on my feet. _Ugh, clumsy Bella strikes again._ I sighed and dropped to my knees to gather the papers that had fallen loose.

Footsteps came from my side and soon two familiar pale hands were helping me gather my mess from the floor. I looked up and saw that familiar smirk paired with those striking golden eyes starring back at me. "Bella, what are we going to do with you?" Alice's voice was low and soft and almost rumbled in her chest. "You're in here two seconds and you're already throwing things around. You haven't even had a drink yet." She giggled a little and we both stood up. She handed me a stack of papers, the smirk still on her face.

"I think my balance improves after I drink more so than the other way around, actually." I smiled back at her, putting the papers back into their assigned folders. "Thanks, I'm probably the clumsiest individual you will ever meet in your life."

"I don't know about that, but you sure know how to make an entrance." She turned her body, her head still facing me. Her smile was a tad mischievous as she motioned for me to follow her. The bar was almost completely empty, aside from a patron sitting at the bar chatting with Martha, who's expression was of unconvincing interest. When it wasn't a game night, the place was usually vacant. I was glad for that. Small spaces filled with a lot of people always made me nervous and claustrophobic, but that's no surprise. My anxiety was always making me uncomfortable.

Alice led me to a table furthest away from the noise of the television. I slid into the booth-style seat and looked up to see her pull out her notepad, giving me a silly look. "Now what can I get for the beautiful Ms. Swan?" She bowed slightly, putting her pen to the pad and giving me an expectant look, a twinkle in her eye.

I rolled my eyes and grinned, hoping I didn't stumble over my words. "I'll take a... hmm... What do you recommend? I don't really know your selection."

Aureate eyes met the ceiling as Alice drew a finger to tap her chin, contemplative. Her gaze moved down to meet mine again a moment later, her eyes unsure. "Do you like hefeweizen? We have a new beer called Franziskaner on tap. Martha's been getting better about the selection." She warmly smiled at me and tapped her foot as she spoke.

I didn't know the first thing about beer. As long as it wasn't Miller or Budweiser, I was happy. "I'll take one of those, then. I hardly ever drink." I looked down to the stack of foreboding paperwork and sighed. "But tonight I might need it."

She giggled and started to walk away slowly. "Poor thing." She narrowed her eyes playfully and smirked, making me blush hard. "I'll be back in a jiff. I'll get you your beer first, but I have some dishes to wash before I can come out here and chat. Is that okay?"

I nodded, gulping down my insecurity. She was so much more attractive, even in her waitressing uniform and it was hard not to stare. "I'm not going anywhere."

She winked, my blush deepening. "Good. Stay put."

My mind was in a daze. _Was she flirting with me? Why would she flirt with __**me**__? _I picked up the first folder and pretended to leaf through it as my mind wandered. _Did I want her to flirt with me?_ My sexuality was never something I really thought about, oddly enough. The innocent Bella who would have once questioned herself had...well, she was gone. This Bella, the one who kept most people at an arm's length, was unconcerned with romantic interests...right? Anything remotely close to that in the past few years had been 'flings' at best but nothing more. The sex was mediocre, they were too nice, they were too attached too fast, they were...always something. I could never find anyone who could retain my attention for more than a couple months.

I had never been with a woman before, however. And I really had no idea if that's what I was into, but by the strange feeling in my stomach... _Nah, you don't need to be thinking about that. _I blocked myself off. _You're too screwed up to be in a relationship with anyone._ Period.

Alice returned with the beer, gracefully sliding in across from me. "Here you are." She smiled brightly and gently set it down on the table. "Martha's doing the dishes for me. I think she needed a break from that guy...he's been talking her ear off all afternoon." Alice rested her head on the palm of her right hand. "I'm so glad you came. This place has been a complete bore for a few days now." She sighed and picked at the table with her free hand, her eyes steady on me.

I looked at her curiously. Someone like her could be a supermodel, but she was sitting across from me in a small town bar in a waitress uniform. "How did you come to work here?"

Her eyes flickered slightly before she glanced down at her finger nails. "Well, I guess I just needed a change of scenery." She looked back up to me, one eyebrow raised coupled with her characteristic smirk. "I kind of like it here." Straightening up, she ran a hand through her hair and settled in her seat, sitting sideways with her back against the wall and her legs resting on the bench. "My family used to live here some time ago because my dad took a job at the local hospital. They needed doctors pretty badly." The story seemed well-versed, as if she was reading from a book. "After I finished up my degree, I just wanted to get a normal, small job for a while before I looked for something more...concrete, I guess." She twiddled her thumbs gently in her lap. She was a fidgeter.

I couldn't help the reminiscent smile I wore. "My mother used to do that..." I looked at her hands, not even realizing that I had said it. Once I found my mouth had moved, I shook my head a little to clear it... _What was wrong with me?_ "Fidget I mean." I smirked at her this time, forcing a confidence I didn't feel. "So where did you attend University?"

It turns out we both went to Seattle for college and graduated at around the same time, her a semester after me. She earned a double major in literature and fashion design, which explained her well-chosen outfit earlier today. Eventually the conversation became almost comfortable, my unease unwinding to it's usual level. We talked about books and our shared obsession with the very twisted Dennis Cooper, an author I didn't think anyone else could appreciate in the way I did. I also somehow confessed my strange addiction to science fiction novels by Drew Karpyshyn, making Alice chuckle. We ended up laughing a lot and it was so nice to talk to someone who I felt was on the same page I was.

By the time midnight rolled around I hadn't done any of my work and it was time to leave. Martha let Alice off the hook and began cleaning the place up herself, despite Alice's protests. It was interesting seeing the old lady from my high school days pick on Alice and playfully push her out of the door just behind me. I smiled at Martha and gave her a small wave, ignoring the look of sympathy hidden in her own returning expression. _Why can't anyone here just let it go? _I tried not to think about it, instead focusing on the good time I was having with my new friend.

Alice walked close behind me and poked me in the back for my attention. I turned around, seeing the moonlight shine off of her face. It made her look like she was glowing, in a way, and I thought I noticed her eyes... They seemed darker than before. In fact, they were completely black... _It's dark, Bella, nothing unusual about that. _

"Thank you so much for visiting me. I would have died of boredom if it weren't for you." She poked me in the ribs.

I smiled down at her. "I actually had a great time talking to you. I don't really know many people I can get along with so easily..." I looked down at my feet nervously, a little embarrassed at the admission. "Thanks for inviting me."

"I find that hard to believe, Bella. Who wouldn't want to get along with you?" Her cheery voice sounded more serious than before. "I would love to do this again sometime, maybe when I'm not on the clock?"

For the first time, Alice appeared unsure of herself and kept her eyes on her feet before shyly bringing them up to me to see my reaction. It was endearing, but uncharacteristic and I couldn't ignore the warmth in my stomach from the sight. I gave her a small smile and a shy nod of approval. "I would like that. A lot." I admitted. Her face brightened. "Great." She took the cell phone peeking from my front pocket so quick I hardly noticed what she was doing. "Here's my number." She typed it in, letting her phone ring. "Just so you know I'm not faking," she explained with a grin before placing it back in my pocket in a flirtatious manner. It made me shudder on the inside. _Really, what is going on with me? _She pulled her own phone and showed it to me. "You're stuck with me now." Her smile was wicked and I swear I could feel a bead of sweat develop on my brow.

We waved a small goodbye to each other after I promised to call her when I was free.

When I got home, I placed my cell phone on the coffee table and forced myself to stay awake to finish up some work, a big mug of coffee to aid me. I ended up going to bed at two o'clock and set my alarm for six. Tomorrow was Thursday, my last day for the week and I couldn't wait to sleep in Friday morning. Maybe I'd call Alice tomorrow night... I tried to keep the smile off of my face as I settled into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward will make his appearance in this chapter. Fear not! He is not a misogynistic ass or a liar... :D

Stephanie obviously likes her men controlling and I'm not into that at ALL.

This chapter has less Alice, so for all you "fluff" people out there, relax. More will come. I'd like to actually have a plot... Let me know how it's coming along. :)

Also, I barely proof-read this chapter. I hope there aren't too many mistakes. I've been pretty lucky just to find the time to write.

**Chapter Three**

I woke up before my alarm, sweating and shaking from the nightmare I had just escaped. I closed my eyes tightly, my eyelids twitching. I clenched and unclenched my fists a few times, a tick I had developed since these started five years ago. The repetitive motion seemed to help push the unwanted thoughts away for a while, but the feeling of fear stayed, tainting the good mood I had gone to bed with. I kept my eyes shut, trying desperately to flee from the dream but it wouldn't let go of me.

A flash of red eyes. Blood on the ground, glistening in the small sliver of sun that escaped the clouds above. The smell of iron. The menacing laughter in the air. It all came crashing down on me and I felt myself curl into a ball on my bed, the clenching exercise not cutting it anymore. I struggled to breathe and tears streamed down my face as I choked on my sobs, unable to hold them back. The feeling of panic seized my body and suddenly I couldn't move. I cried out and sobbed, hoping the pain would leave. I couldn't handle it. It was making me sick inside and I felt the food I had eaten the night before curdle in my gut. My body was set free from it's restraints and I quickly made my way to the bathroom, the contents of my stomach heaving into the toilet.

After a few minutes, I sat down on the tub sobbing like a baby, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand while trying to catch my breath. I kept my eyes closed for a moment, then opened them to keep my dizzy spell under control. I quickly turned around and turned the water on, pulling the plug up for the shower head. I stripped quickly and stepped into the freezing water, my skin pebbled in goosebumps.

I let my head soak in the cool water as it warmed. That was the worst one so far... I never had a dream that felt as real as that, as if I was there all over again, every detail just as alive as it was the first time. The smell of blood, the screams, the laughter...the dead, lifeless bodies of my family. It was a perfect replay. It was overwhelming and I felt my lungs close again.

The water finally warmed completely, the steam rising from the shower head. I tried to compose myself, breathing deeply in and out. As my muscles finally warmed up, I stretched a little, letting my body relax. It was over.

Panic attacks were something I had grown accustomed to. I kept a small stash of anti-anxiety medication in the medicine cabinet that I used for emergencies only. They made me drowsy, so I considered whether or not I should take one before going to work. I got out of the shower and pulled a towel around me before opening the cupboard and glancing at the pills. Calling in wasn't an option... I closed the cupboard, instead dressing myself quickly and going out to the porch for a cig while my hair was still wet.

I had to ignore the cold. My scalp felt like it was burning it was so chilled, but I shrugged it off and lit up an American Spirit before laying on the bench. I noticed for the first time that it was still dark outside and glanced at my watch. 4:30 AM. _Jesus_...

It was rare for me to ever smoke a cigarette before around 11 or so. For some reason it always made me feel sick to my stomach before then but I had been smoking more often as of late. I'd moved from a pack a week to a pack and a half. That's really not too bad considering some people smoke that in a day, but I was hoping it wouldn't come to that for me.

I went inside and started a pot of coffee before slipping upstairs to finish getting ready. After putting on a little makeup and fixing my hair I poured black sludge into a thermos and left the house, intent on getting as much work done as I could to distract myself.

I arrived at work at 6, two hours earlier than usual. Unfortunately it wasn't so early that my boss wasn't there yet. The second I went to unlock my office door I felt a slight tap on the shoulder and turned to Edward Mason adorning his usual cocky smile and an overpriced, dark blue three-piece suit. "Good morning, Bella." His velvety voice trickled through thin lips as his eyes glanced down to the briefcase danging over my shoulder. "You are here far too early. Didn't finish those reports?"

I lead him inside and began rummaging for them as I sat down behind my desk. Finally finding them, I handed them over, taking a long swig of coffee before replying. "I finished these last night. Angela's photos will go nicely on the front page this time, I think. She got a really nice pic at the HorrorPop's show."

Edward sat down across from me in one of the guest chairs in front of my desk, thumbing through the papers to find a copy of the photograph. "Nice, nice. That girl and her music... I didn't think anyone still listened to psychobilly." He looked up and grinned at me. "However, I do enjoy The Cramps from time to time." He whispered, a mischievous glint in his eye as if it were wrong to listen to something so "barbaric." His word, not mine.

Edward was a good guy, but he was a little full of himself. He was always overdressed to perfection and it wasn't uncommon for him to brag about his aristocratic tastes in Opera, expensive red wines and the classical music he sweared by. Not that there was anything wrong with those things, but the way he addressed them was condescending. He had grown up in a rich family and it showed. He was aware of how intelligent he was and he often showed off with unimportant but none-the-less impressive facts. It annoyed most of the people I worked with, but once you got to know him you realized that it was all an act to cover up a deep seeded insecurity he refused to address.

Edward placed the photo back in his stack before turning his eyes to me again. "Listen, I dropped Jessica from the fashion section and moved her to entertainment news." He looked down at his shoes, a serious expression souring his face. "Her tastes were... unsatisfactory, shall we say. I know I've loaded you down with work, so I'm not asking you to take her assignment but I'd like to you to keep an eye out for somebody to replace the spot." He looked at me, a smirk replacing his frown. "I know you don't like fashion very much, but a strong recommendation from you would help me a great deal." His eyes were hopeful.

"I'll keep an eye out, but..." A name did cross my mind, but it was too early to say. "I can't promise anything. I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks." He stood to leave. "By the way, that serial killer was at it again last night as I'm sure you heard. I think they are finally holding a press conference for the situation this afternoon." I nodded, already planning on attending, despite the lack of desire. "I know. I'll be there."

"Alright. Have a good one, Bella. I owe you lunch sometime." He stepped out, finally leaving me to myself. I laid my head back in the chair and sighed. Today was going to be a long day and I could feel a headache coming on. I popped a few Advil I kept in one of the drawers and turned on my computer to destroy my inbox. Thank God-or-whatever for coffee.

Jacob eagerly invited himself to the press conference, taking my extra badge and throwing it around his neck before ushering me inside of his car. I didn't mind the company, but I really just wanted to get this over with. "Why so glum, Bella?" He buckled in and started the car, pulling out fast and racing down the road before I had time to settle myself. After a few seconds of gripping the car door for dear life, I buckled in, too and looked at him sternly.

"For one, I knew you would drive like an ass," I said wryly. "And two, I wish Edward hadn't dropped this assignment on my lap. I'm not much for writing on murder cases."

Jacob kept his eyes on the road. "Well this one is getting good. Five people killed already and they all were sucked DRY. No blood in the bodies at all. Wicked, right?" He glanced over at me, a boyish grin on his face. "It's like that 'Ice Truck Killer' on Dexter."

I tried to breathe in before responding but I couldn't help it when I snapped. "It's not funny, Jacob. These are people's lives, not some actors and fake dead bodies." I got out my notepad, pen and audio recorder as we approached the conference. Jacob looked like a puppy who had been kicked, mumbling out an apology before getting out of the car and circling around. Before he could open my door, I hopped out myself and walked by. I tried to reason with myself to calm down. Jacob didn't know about my family and he didn't need to know.

We came upon the crowd of reporters after checking in our badges. Jacob was helpful in these situations because he was so big. All I had to do was follow behind him as he moved through the crowd like a brick wall and we could get up in front no problem, people glaring at us from behind. I never liked doing it but he always insisted.

The chief of police stood at a podium, a few local representatives standing behind him. I kept quiet for the most part, letting reporter after reporter ask questions and recording everything, taking small notes here and there.

"How were they killed?"

"How were the bodies disposed?"

"How were they found?"

"What was the murder weapon?"

"What are the steps you're taking to find the killer?"

"Have higher authorities been contacted?"

Too many questions without any solid answers, and it was all... too familiar. Bloodless victims, wounds found on the thigh, the neck, the shoulder, no traceable murder weapon, strange and unidentifiable acidic liquid near the wounds...

I started to feel light-headed suddenly and my vision grew dark, fuzzy black static closing in and blocking my sight. I grabbed Jacob's shoulder to steady myself. "Woah!" He held me up by my arms and looked at me, worry all over his face. "You're pale, are you okay?"

I closed my eyes tightly trying not to faint. "Yeah, but I think I need to leave. Can you finish recording here? I'll take notes on it later."

"Sure, but do you need help to the car?" I could barely hear him as I stepped away, pushing through the crowd with him following carefully behind. My vision returned to me as I went with the more oxygen I was able to take in.

"No," I stopped him, gently urging him back. "I'll be okay," I smiled weakly and kept walking.

When I got to the car I sat in the passenger seat, pushing it back to lay down. _You need to get over this some day, Bella..._

I knew what I had to do. This was too much for me, and I knew it would be unprofessional but I hoped Edward would understand. I couldn't work on this. It was too much like before... Maybe it _was_ the professional thing. I couldn't look at this objectively. I'd offer to let Jacob take care of it. He was smart and he seemed very interested, so he would certainly keep careful attention on what was going on.

When Jacob got in the car he immediately put the back of his hand to my forehead. "You're not running a fever... You've been working too hard." He pointed a finger, reprimanding me in a gentle tone. "Sorry, Mom." I swatted his hands away and watched as he drove us back.

I later spoke with Edward about my work load, using the excuse that I simply had too much on my plate and that Jacob was more than willing to take the assignment from me. He let it slide and gave me a figurative pat on the head on my way out of the office.

Getting home, I decided to opt out of my usual smoking routine and sat on the couch instead, soaking up my surroundings. The old TV that once was always tuned to ESPN. The photographs of my elementary school graduation, my little league soccer team, one of my mother hugging me in my uniform. The tackle box still sitting in the corner by the front door. Why hadn't I gotten rid of all of this?

I placed a sofa pillow on my head, lying back and making a mental note to go apartment hunting _for real_ tomorrow. As I sunk into the couch, my phone buzzed in my pocket, making me jump. I took it out and peered at the screen. _1 Text Message from Alice Cullen._ I sat upright a little quick, the blood rushing in my body making me dizzy. _Shit. _I opened the phone and read quickly.

_You free tomorrow? I have the night off. :) _

A small smile fell on my lips and keyed in a reply. _Yes, I am. What did you have in mind?_ It was amazing how fast my mood changed. I waited eagerly for her response, my phone still in hand. Instead of vibrating to tell me I had a text, the phone rang loudly and I nearly fell off of the couch as I answered. _Klutz. _

"Hey."

"You." Alice's voice traveled through, sounding grainy from the earpiece.

I had no idea what..."What?"

I heard her giggle. "You asked what I had in mind? Oh, never mind. You ruined my fun." I could picture her winking at me with a smirk on her face, that look that always made me shiver from head to toe.

"Oh...ha ha, sorry." I ran a nervous hand through my hair, laying back on the couch with my eyes closed.

"Well, I was hoping I could take you shopping. Or a movie. Or both?" The same uncertain voice carried through the phone and I smiled. Like I could refuse _her_. I blushed at the thought.

I squirmed in my seat. "I'm not a big shopper, but... Sure, I'd love to."

I heard a dramatized sigh before Alice spoke again. "Oh Bella, you are just silly. I'll make a shopper out of you, just wait and see." Her voice dropped to just above a whisper. "I'd also like to buy you dinner, if you are interested."

Her voice was...husky. I felt a fire roaring in my chest that traveled down my torso and... _Oh._ "I would really like that." I had to whisper just to get it out, my throat feeling like that of a prepubescent boy. I briefly considered my sanity.

A sigh, this time sounding more like relief, breezed into my ear and sent a tickle down my spine. "Great. When should I pick you up?" The phone beeped to alert me of a text message, nearly muting Alice's voice. Annoyed at the interruption I hit the ignore button, thinking of how I should answer...

"Well," I don't know how, but I managed to keep myself from squeaking into the phone. My voice sounded raw, if anything. I'd settle for that any day over squeaking. "I'm free all day, so whenever is best for you. I was going to do some apartment hunting in the morning."

I took a quick glance around the room again, my eyes catching all of the memories that surrounded me. On second thought... "But I might skip out on that." My voice had turned quiet, and in return there was a curious pause from Alice's end before she responded.

"Hmm, well maybe we can start our date early?"

"Date?" This time my voice did crack a little. Only a little, which is not too bad considering my heart flew up into the middle of my throat and started beating a mile a minute.

Alice laughed softly, her voice dripping with charm. "Well, if you don't want it to be, I'll understand."

I took a deep breath, trying to build up my nerve. I let it out and breathed into the phone, "I didn't say I didn't want it to be." I tried to return the tease but it didn't come out naturally like it came from Alice. If she was just joking with me, I was sure she knew I took it more seriously. _God, I'm fool. _

I expected an awkward silence and was relieved to instead hear the familiar wind chime that was Alice's soft laughter. "Sorry if I'm coming on too strong, Bella, but I'm sure I'm not the first to have a crush on you." She paused and this time her giggle sounded almost nervous. "Well, can I pick you up at around 4?"

I smiled in relief, blushing like a mad woman. I could feel the heat consuming my face and it burned through me like it never had before. Damn my shyness. "Sure. I'll be ready."

I tried to push back any worries I had about this. I didn't have the slightest clue what these feelings really meant. I hardly knew Alice, but I felt pulled to her. She made me forget everything else around me; she made me forget my anxieties and all of the stress that had settled onto my shoulders.

"Alice," I spoke quietly, a little afraid I might say something silly to scare her off.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

She was silent for a moment before she responded, just as quiet, "You're welcome, Bella Swan. I'll see you tomorrow." The smile in her voice was evident and my own small smile grew with hope. Hope for what? I don't know.

I said goodbye shyly and checked the text message I had gotten during the call. It was Jacob, obviously excited about the new assignment. I ignored the "_Are you okay?_" at the end and wrestled the phone into my pocket.. I looked around the house again and stood up and walked toward the photos, trying not to trip over the coffee table. Maybe I would stay here... No point in spending money on an apartment when I could save and eventually get a good place to call my own in Seattle. The drive was beginning to get exhausting. I knew I couldn't stay here forever, but I could at least make this place more comfortable while I was here.

I grabbed a few cardboard boxes and got to work. I packed up all of the photos, the fishing gear, the sports illustrated magazines and then threw the TV in the closet. I'd take that to Goodwill and replace it tomorrow morning... Before my _date. _I put the boxes with the TV and shut the closet door tightly. I wouldn't throw out the photos. They would just have to hide for a while longer. For now, it was time to move on.


	4. Chapter 4

**I really appreciate everyone who has been reading and reviewing. :) I do plan on finishing this story, however long it may take me. I hope it doesn't take too long for me to update regularly. I'll make the effort, I promise. And yes, there will be more awkward moments in store for Bella! Many, I'm sure. Hopefully she'll learn to relax soon.**

**Chapter 4**

I got up far too early the next morning, again. But this time it wasn't because I woke up in a cold sweat with a bad dream chasing me out of the comfort of my bed. This time it was out of anticipation. I felt like something had switched inside of me. I wasn't dreading the day and I was almost optimistic.

I showered quickly and went downstairs for breakfast, still in my towel. Since yesterday my emotions were going haywire from the start, so I really hadn't eaten much. I made up for it by making myself some french toast doused in syrup, something I hadn't eaten in a long time. I finished up my orange juice and headed to my closet to pick out something decent to wear. I didn't want to look like a complete slob around Alice, who would no doubt be immaculately dressed. It took a while to find something, but I managed to find a pair of skinny blue jeans and a green top that went well with my hair. Maybe I did need to do some shopping.

By the time I was fully dressed, it was only nine o'clock. I sat down in the dining room with my laptop, determined to find some furniture that didn't reek of the last five empty years. I'd saved everything I worked for since I didn't have rent to pay and only had to worry about food and utilities. Maybe... Maybe I could renovate the living room and kitchen. It would raise the re-sale value, I reasoned. _Sure. _

I felt productive, like I was finally awake after being asleep in my misery for so long. I don't know what had gotten into me.

Browsing around on Ikea made the time go by a lot faster. By the time 1 o'clock rolled around I had chosen a living room set and ordered a large flat screen from Best Buy to replace the old one, an indulgence I'll admit. I couldn't remember buying anything that wasn't priority since I moved out the first time. Flippant spending made me nervous and I didn't really enjoy buying myself things I didn't need. But I guess this was almost necessary.

The next three hours were slow-going. I wondered what this was going to be like. Was she joking about it being a date? Was she serious? Did she really have a crush on me? ME? She could have anyone she wanted, even without her good looks. She was charming. Why on Earth would she pick someone as anti-social and unexciting as me? My mind just wouldn't be quiet. She was probably just joking anyway.

I tried reading a book, but every time I started to read the words would fade from my attention and I would merely scan the page as I thought about what tonight would be like. I needed to relax, but I knew even the anti-anxiety medication would do nothing for me.

I sat on the couch and closed my eyes in the hopes that maybe I could teach myself to meditate. It worked, but all too well. The sleep I hadn't been getting was starting to catch up with me and I felt my eyes slowly grow heavier and heavier the longer I sat in the quiet of the living room.

Frustrated with myself, I got up and decided to clean the house. Getting up and moving around woke me up and kept me busy so I could_ almost _forget I was about to go on a potential date. The time still went by slowly, but at least the house was clean by the time 3:30 rolled around.

I freshened up and tried not to wait by the door. Why am I so excited? Even if it is a date, it's not like it's the first I had ever been on. What was so special about this one that was making me shake? There was something my body knew that I didn't.

At exactly 4, a small knock came from the front door and my heart started to pound.

I went to the door timidly, looking through the peep hole as if I didn't already know who it was. Alice stood there looking at her hands held at her waist, her hair slightly less wild than usual, wearing a beautiful red blouse that contrasted with her pale skin and dark locks. Suddenly all the anxiousness fled from my body. I was a little nervous, yes, but I felt more at ease than ever that day.

I opened the door, my bashful smile already in place. Alice beamed at me and I watched as her eyes looked me up and down. "Hello, Bella. You look gorgeous." Her eyes met mine again and her grin grew impossibly wider. I blushed. Again.

I motioned her inside, stepping back from the door to give her room as she entered. "If you think I look gorgeous, you must not own a mirror." Alice frowned a little and my smile dimmed. "What is it? Did I say something wrong?"

Alice shook her head, her grin returning. "You are so wrong about yourself, you know that?" She turned around in a circle, studying the room briefly. "So, what to do first?" Her sing-song voice reached my ears even though my heart beat was pounding so loudly I could hear nothing else.

Calm down. I motioned her to move into the living room where she sat on the couch, glancing around as she did so. "Cozy. I like it." She smiled at me, her eyes bright and...distracting. It took me a moment to realize she had said something and I had to take a deep breath to concentrate. "Thank you. Do you want anything to drink?" I stood awkwardly, awaiting her answer.

"I'm fine, thanks. Sit with me?" She patted the cushion nearest her and I nearly tripped over the carpet under my feet as I moved by her. Once I had finally reached my destination, I realized this was the closest I had been to Alice and I could smell her perfume. Floral, but not too much so. Almost like freshly cut grass. It was comforting and I felt myself relax a little.

Alice's smile was still in place, a warm, genuine and observing expression I was beginning to grow fond of.

I smiled back, unable to restrain myself. Not that I really wanted to. "Thanks for inviting me out. It's been a while since I did anything but work."

"You are a workaholic, huh?" Alice laughed a little before shaking her head again. "And of course, it's my pleasure. I'm glad I'm the exception." She placed her hands in her lap, her voice dropping in volume. "I've also been a little anti-social, if you don't count waiting tables. The locals here are... different than what I'm used to."

"What are you used to?" I found my self asking, curious. "Where did you live before?"

She smiled again, and if I didn't know any better there was a glint of mischief. "Lots of places. I'm used to being around my family, mostly, and they are a lot more liberal than the people here. We're pretty tightly knit. After I got my degree, I moved to London with them for a year before coming back. I guess I got tired of the tourists."

She took a look around the room again before studying me. "So, are you ready to go shopping?"

The look of fright must have been apparent because she laughed and placed a hand on my knee, sending shivers. It must have been my social anxiety trying to reach me from the abyss the comfort she exuded. Or not. "Oh, Bella, you're so easy to read." She took her hand away and smiled. "Don't worry. I was thinking we could go to a bookstore... and then I can buy you dinner." Her smile widened and she stood up, offering a hand to help my clumsy butt off of the couch.

My hand reached for her's without much thought, but when they made contact I was surprised at how soft they were. But they were also freezing cold, and I had to stop myself from putting it between both of my own hands to help warm it.

"I can do a bookstore. No problem." I smiled back as we moved to the door and out to her sleek, yellow PORSCHE.

"Wow, wait a minute." I shook my head, confused. "A waitress with a Porsche. How did you manage that?"

Alice opened the passenger door for me, leaning against it as I followed her lead. "Let's just say, I helped my parents out a lot growing up." She winked and closed the door behind me before circling around and getting in herself.

I soon found out the hard way that Alice was a speed demon.

We got to the bookstore in record time, with Alice giggling the majority of the trip. Every time we reached a red light I grabbed the door handle to steady myself. The store was two stories high and stocked every book you could imagine. Needless to say, a bookstore like this was one of the few exceptions of my hatred for shopping and I think we both enjoyed it. As we glanced through titles I was surprised at just how many of them Alice had read. Far more than even myself, and I thought I was the biggest bookworm on the planet. Or at least the country. She had me beat ten fold. When we left, I bought some of the better novels I had read for my column and a few more that she had recommended. We both had exchanged recommendations at the bar and Alice bought every book I mentioned. I was flattered that my opinion held that much weight, and she had me smiling almost every moment of the trip.

It felt nice, more than nice, to be around Alice. I felt like the part of me that died five years ago had come back, the part of me that found the beauty in life. The part of me that took in everything with observant eyes filled with wonder at the world around me. Alice herself exuded this energy and it was so infectious that even a pessimist like myself couldn't resist it's pull.

The sun wasn't out, but it was hiding behind the clouds in a thin veil and the warmth almost met me through my jacket. We walked to the park near by, stopping to drop off the books in her car along the way. When we got there, I felt Alice close the distance between us and wrapped an arm around one of my own. It made me smile and my cheeks burn. We walked toward a bench overlooking the rest of the lawn, and I took a quick glance when I thought she wasn't looking to see Alice smirking slightly, looking down at her feet.

"What are you smiling at?" I poked her in the ribs.

Apparently I had surprised her, because her eyes widened as she looked up to me. "Oh, hmm..." She tugged at my arm slightly. "Just thinking, that's all. I didn't think I'd actually meet you, let alone get you to hang out with little ol' me."

My blush deepened and I saw Alice's smirk return. "I don't know what you mean and trust me, I'm nothing special. I'm so ordinary it's scary." Our arms stayed linked until we reached the bench and sat. Alice did stay close to me, however, the sides of our legs touching just slightly.

She turned to me as I continued, "I go to work, come home, read, go to bed and get up to do it all over again. And again, and again."

"You're something else." She patted my knee before resting her hand there, a look I couldn't define on her face. It was kind, warm, almost...loving..._yeah right_. "I think you're interesting, and I'd like to know more about you."

"Well, I'd like to know more about you, too." I said, softer than intended. My voice was cracking like a prepubescent boy again and I had to clear it before I continued. "By the way, you said your family was close. Do you have siblings?"

She nodded. "Yes, I have a brother and sister, Jasper and Rosalie, and a brother-in-law Emmett." She smiled, obviously happy to discuss her family. "We were all adopted by my parents, Esme and Carlisle."

The name struck me. "Carlisle Cullen?" I tried to keep my voice even as a dark memory surfaced inside of me. "Dr. Cullen. I don't know why I didn't think of it before... He helped me once, at the hospital."

Alice nodded, "Yes, he told me he remembered you." She gave me a small smile.

"I'm surprised I was a worthy topic of family discussion." I returned the expression, though my smile this time. "Did he say why I was there?" My voice was so quiet I could barely hear myself.

Alice's hand gripped my knee again softly, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Doctor-patient rules still stand within family, Ms. Swan." She winked at me, brightening my mood almost instantly. "And my father is the epitome of professional."

My more genuine smile returned, relieved. Though I felt at ease with Alice, I wasn't ready to talk about it. About any of it. And I didn't want to scare her off. She didn't need to know that I spent a few days in their psychiatric ward to clear my mental stability.

"Tell me more about your family. You say you were adopted?" Changing the subject had never been easier, until I realized that it might be a touchy subject. "If you don't want to talk about that you don't have to, I'm sorry." Word vomit.

Alice smiled, and shook her head a little. "No worries, I don't mind." She took her hands in her lap again, twiddling her fingers. She was simply a ball of energy. "Jasper and Rosalie were taken in first. They were both five. They're twins, I forgot to mention.

"Then I came along when I was seven, they were both eight at the time. My biological parents were... I guess you could say less than satisfactory." She shrugged her shoulders, brushing off the frown that almost made it's way to her face.

"I'm lucky that Carlisle and Esme found me. They make up for any hardship I faced before they came into my life." She smiled at me. "But enough about me, what about you? Do you have any siblings?"

_Almost_, I wanted to say but stopped myself. "No, just me. I begged my parents for a sister for years but I was never very lucky."

"That's too bad. You can have one of mine if you'd like. I'd be glad to let you borrow Rose." She grinned, bouncing her shoulder off of mine playfully. "Then again I think _you_ would mind." She sighed dramatically before giggling to herself. I think she could sense that I didn't want to talk about my family because she didn't press the subject.

We spoke a little longer. She told me all about her family and I told her all about my career in journalism. Again I was surprised just how easy it was to talk to her and I observed her graceful demeanor with interest. She was so beautiful and I just didn't understand how anyone could look the way she did. She was stunning.

We made our way back to her car as the sun began to go down. I made my way into the leather seat without bumping my head on the door, which earned me a mental gold star. Alice looked at me from the driver's side, her eyes studying me curiously. "I think you might be hungry, am I right?"

I opened my mouth to answer before my stomach made it's presence known in a loud and long growl. "Uh, I guess so." I laughed, embarrassed.

"Well then," she started the car and began to back out of the space, shifting into drive. "I'm going to buy you dinner."


	5. Chapter 5

Oh boy, more fluff than I intended to write so early. I hope this doesn't ruin my credibility... Nah. Anyway, I'm trying to maneuver around the fact that I have never been to Seattle before by using Google to be as accurate as I can with place names and such. So if any of you have been there and feel the need to correct me, please do so. This chapter was hard for me, but I started to get into a groove later on. I apologize for the little wait. I've been working a lot. I really hope you love it. :]

Chapter 5

I'm afraid of fast cars... Fast anything, really. Fast boats, planes, motorcycles... Once, Jake had taken me out on the motorcycle he built as a kid. It was almost fun, until I fell off. I remember tumbling into the bushes next to the road and hitting my head on a tree. Thankfully I had slowed down by the time I'd made contact with it, but I still split my head open and had to get stitches. Yeah, that was really fun.

Relationships were no different. Going fast wasn't something I was good at, and I usually backed out from potential "romantic interests" before anything could get too serious. Even the "flirt" period took a long time. I never kissed on a first date. It wasn't a rule, it just wasn't in my comfort level. My end-of-date hugs were usually awkward and reserved with the occasional tap on the back that made it obvious to them I wasn't really interested. I also never spent more than a couple hours with them before resigning back into my little turtle shell.

Alice and I had spent over three hours together and I still wasn't bored, and the whole time we were on our way to the restaurant I kept thinking of her hand on my knee earlier in the park. And even though I was genuinely enjoying myself, a little voice in the back of my mind kept repeating one thing. _You're too damaged for something to come out of this. _

The thought wasn't an unfamiliar one. Any time I got close to anything, anyone, this sentence repeated itself like a mantra. _You should know by now to step away. Gain your distance._

But this time I pushed it back. With every hidden glance at Alice I took, with every smile she returned, I knew that no, I wanted to see where this was going. The electricity flowing between us was a sign of something. What that was, I wasn't sure.

I took another peek at Alice and realized she had been peeking at me, too, as our eyes met. It didn't occur to me at the moment that her attention was completely on me and not the road as her golden irises focused on me. "Something wrong?" She smirked at me, as if she knew what I was thinking. I knew I was blushing and I smiled shyly in response. "No, nothing. Just thinking."

"About what?" She kept her eyes on me for a second longer before returning them to the road in front of her. We were nearing Pike Place, a market in Seattle.

I shrugged, forgetting that she was now unable to see it. "I don't know yet," I timidly replied, earning a whimsical laugh from the woman beside me. She turned to me again as she drove into a parking garage, a twinkle in her eye. "Well, I hope I have an idea." She winked, centering her car in a parking space without even a glance at what she was doing. I thought that curious for a moment before her words recollected themselves in my brain.

Confidence I didn't know I had came to the surface. "You might." I felt myself smiling, but on the inside I was panicking. My heart was thudding and I felt tingles of anticipation throughout my body. Anticipation for what? Not knowing what the hell was going on with me was beginning to annoy me.

She turned off the vehicle and moved closer to me, our faces inches away now. My heart was hammering so loud I'm sure she could hear it and my face was on fire. She opened her mouth to say something before closing it into a smile, pulling herself away and opening her door. Before she closed it, she turned around. "Stay there, okay?"

I nodded, and seconds later Alice was at my door with her hand out to me. I immediately melted inside as I took her hand and she helped me out of the car. I couldn't restrain my smile and by the one Alice had on her face it would appear she couldn't either.

"So..." I started out softly, "this is a _real_ date?" Our hands were still together as we stood beside her car.

Her smile dimmed slightly but didn't disappear. "I thought so. But it can be whatever you want it to be." She was being honest, not a trace of mirth in her eye. She almost appeared shy again as she looked at our hands.

She began to loosen her fingers as the more seconds went by and I didn't answer. I was in slight shock, I guess, but the moment I realized her hand was almost out of mine I tightened my grip to reaffirm that I still wanted it there. "I want it to be."

Her eyes met mine again and her smile brightened. "And I thought I was being too forward there for a while." Our hands remained linked as we made our way out of the parking garage. My blush was palpable, but I didn't make the move to let go. I wasn't used to PDA. In fact, I usually hated showing affection to anyone in public. Period. But not this time. I was blushing because I knew that I enjoyed holding her hand all too much. I really wasn't used to this. I didn't like opening up to anyone, and I could feel myself doing so.

For once, I felt vulnerable. My walls just weren't strong against Alice, a woman I had met only recently. I never felt the "butterflies" for anyone, and I never thought it could happen so suddenly.

It scared the crap out of me, but it intrigued me too much to let it go.

Walking to the restaurant was less embarrassing than I imagined. We had timidly held hands as we made our way to the restaurant, and I had somehow avoided tripping or falling over. Alice's hand was soft and comforting in mine, but I found it peculiar how it didn't seem to warm at all. I guess it was getting cold outside, I reasoned. It really didn't bother me anyway.

I had never been to the Pink Door, so I was surprised at the intriguing atmosphere. It was an Italian restaurant, my favorite. The lighting was dim and there were a lot of people already dining with the soft clinking of glasses, silverware and delicate conversation filling the air. Curtains hung from the ceiling, pulled back to clear room for the small four-seat tables. Along the walls made of cream-colored brick, small candles on top of beige table cloths accentuated several pieces of artwork. But the thing I found most impressive was the trapeze artist performing on a bar hung from the ceiling in between two sets of tables, the customers beneath her gaping in appreciation.

I looked down at Alice who was looking at me with a twinkle in her eye. "Before you ask," her hand gripped mine tighter for a moment before she released it to point at the woman currently doing the splits in mid-air, "I had no idea about that either," she chuckled quietly. I looked at her and smiled, "You have interesting taste." Alice's laughter continued and she bumped my shoulder.

A moment later, a young girl greeted us into the restaurant. Alice smiled at her kindly, causing the girl to blush fiercely and stumble over her feet. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one disarmed by it. I guess I had competition for "biggest klutz" now.

When she caught herself, she quickly tried to recompose herself, clearing her throat and smiling broadly at both of us. "Do you guys have a reservation? We're pretty booked right now." She looked to a seating chart on a small podium in the front, noticeably trying to avoid eye contact.

Alice kept her eyes on me as she answered, "We do, actually." Her gaze lingered for a second longer and then she turned to the hostess, placing her hand in mine again. "Alice Cullen and Bella Swan."

The girl looked at our linked hands and her eyes narrowed slightly before she looked to her seating chart again. "Hmm... Oh, okay, I see we have a table saved for you. If you'll follow me." She smiled at Alice and turned around, grabbing two menus.

The table was tucked into a corner of the restaurant furthest away from the trapeze act. We could still see the woman dangling from the raised seat as we sat down. Normally I would've been starring at such a display, but Alice was far more distracting. God, what is wrong with me.

The hostess placed the menus before us, her eyes solely on Alice the entire time. I felt a twinge of something in my belly at the almost flirtatious look in her eye, but Alice didn't seem to notice and simply smiled out of courtesy before looking to me. Her smile changed to a flirtatious smirk as our eyes met again. I was glad for the candle light, making my blush less noticeable.

For a moment the hostess stayed where she was, looking between the two of us. I thought I heard her sigh before she walked away, and that twinge of jealousy subsided. The look in Alice's eye reassured me that, if she had noticed, it didn't mean anything to her.

"I hope you like this kind of food," Alice fingered the menu. Her smirk was still visible but I was beginning to notice her habits when she was nervous. Like I had observed before, she fiddled with things with her hands. Her voice also had the tendency to rise just a little, so slightly you could barely notice unless you were paying close attention. And I was.

I peered at the menu and nodded. "I actually love Italian food. It's probably my favorite."

We both looked at the menu to decide what we wanted. It was cute how confused Alice seemed at the long list of options and she would every now and then look at me to see what I was looking at. Finally, she gave up and put her menu down. "What are you going to have? When it comes to food I'm a little indecisive."

I laughed a little and pointed at the menu. "I usually am, too, but I think I might get the Penne Primavera." I smiled at her, embarrassed. "I'm sure I butchered the pronunciation. I've always wanted to learn Italian but I never got around to it."

Alice suddenly looked excited. "I could teach you! I spent a couple years in Italy with my family growing up. I can speak it pretty fluently."

"I'm impressed." I said honestly, a little shy to admit that my mediocre education in Spanish and French only left me able to order food and get directions. "I would love that, actually."

I asked her more about her travels. Alice had been pretty much everywhere, at least in Europe and Asia. She was also fluent in Spanish, French, German and Portuguese. I was truly amazed and I couldn't help myself and asked her pretty much every question imaginable. After we ordered our food we spoke more about it and my admiration for her grew at all of her incredible experiences. Her family sounded wonderful for exposing their children to so many different cultures and environments. Needless to say I was a little jealous, but more intrigued than anything.

Alice was incredibly intelligent and conversation with her never got boring. She was smart but she wasn't cocky about it, which made it that much more estimable. And though I felt I had gained less wordly knowledge, she made it clear that the interest was mutual. I never felt more comfortable with somebody, but at the same time I never felt more excited to be around anyone. Time flew by and before I knew it the food had arrived.

The waitress that took our orders very quickly placed the plates down in front of us before scurrying off to give another table their things.

Alice picked up her fork and smelled her plate hesitantly. She looked at me and smiled, but she seemed nervous when she took her first bite. As I was chewing my food I watched as her carefully put it in her mouth and bite down. Her expression was a little hard to read, her mouth twitching slightly as she chewed and swallowed. "Hmm..." She looked up thoughtfully. "Not bad." Her face turned into a smile and she took another bite, this time more enthused.

I laughed at her antics as we ate. She played with her food a lot, I noticed. We talked a little more, our conversation going back to me somehow. She asked me more about my childhood, and as uncomfortable as I was with talking about my family I told her a little more about my parents. She listened intently, always waiting for me to finish before asking another question. Alice as careful with her questions.

I'm sure she knew about what happened with my parents. It was in the newspapers and on the local news stations. A man and a pregnant woman dying brutally in a car accident and their child who found them... If she was with her family at the time I don't see how she didn't hear about it. I tried not to dwell on it and told myself I was being morbidly narcissistic. Alice was kind and thoughtful. Even if she did know she wouldn't mention it.

Dinner went by fast. Neither of us could finish our food and we ended up taking to-go boxes out of the restaurant. The sky was dark when we left and the air was significantly colder than it had been before, so it was no surprise that I used the excuse to huddle against Alice in my own subtle way as we walked back to the car. The energy between us grew more palpable with each step we took, and when I felt Alice sneak her arm around my waist I felt a pleasant ball of heat swell inside of me. And when we got to the car, I found myself wanting to ask her if we could just keep walking so she would keep her arm around me.

Alice walked me to the passenger door, opening it chivalrously and closing it carefully behind me. When she got in the drivers seat, she looked my way. Our eyes stayed on one another for a moment. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think of anything. I think she felt the same. We broke contact as she started the car, both of us adorning shy smiles.

The car drive was relatively silent but comfortable. With the combination of the soft music from the radio, the warmth from the heater, and the peaceful presence Alice provided I began to feel drowsy. I watched as a gentle rain began to wash the windshield and suddenly I felt very sad that our day together was going to end. I let the music fill the silence, though, unsure whether or not to voice my sentiments. I didn't want to scare her away so soon.

Alice began to drive slower when we reached Forks. I knew it was late but I didn't feel like going home to my empty house. As if she could sense my dread, she placed her hand over my own and squeezed it. "Excuse me if I sound a little creepy, but I'm kind of unwilling to draw our date to a close." She spoke quietly, her eyes still on the road, her thumb twiddling on the steering wheel.

I squeezed her hand in return and smiled. "You don't sound creepy at all."

Alice slowly pulled into the driveway in front of my house, carefully taking the key from the ignition and stepping out. I had learned already not to bother opening my own door, so I sat waiting while her dainty form danced around the front of the car to open my door. She held her hand out again for me to take, this time not letting go when I was safely out of the car. We walked closely to the front door, the porch light automatically turning on as we reached the steps.

"Bella," Alice looked down at our hands before looking up to me. "I had a wonderful time with you today. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of being your date." She smiled softly at me, her thumb rubbing mine gently.

My voice was shaky as I smiled back. "I had a great time, too, Alice." I looked at our hands. "I hope you'll want to do it again."

"I would love to, very soon." Her voice sounded almost sad, but sweet. I looked back up to her and my mouth went dry. I didn't know whether or not she would mind, but all I wanted to do was kiss her. I could feel my hands begin to shake out of nervousness and my heart was again pounding faster than it should. Alice's eyes were so intense and I felt myself not able to look away. I watched as she slowly drew closer. I could smell her perfume, her hand in mine, the electricity she seemed to give off. Her eyelids grew heavier as the distance closed and suddenly the jolt of electricity was everywhere inside of me as her soft lips met mine. My eyes closed as I took the feeling in, the excitement and comfort swirling together as our lips moved against each other.

We parted slowly, and it took all of the restraint in me to lean in to kiss her again. She smiled, a twinkle in her eye. "Sleep well, Bella." She took her hand from mine only to place them both on my shoulders and lean up to give me a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I look forward to being with you again." Her voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear it as she moved away, her eyes still on me as she went down the steps to her car. I must have looked like a little teenager with a crush as I watched her leave. We exchanged waves as she backed out of the driveway.

I went inside and locked the door, immediately after sitting on the couch to collect myself. This feeling was so new and I didn't want it to go away just yet. The drowsiness I felt in the car began to sweep over me, though the elated little girl inside of me was still eager to chase down the Porsche down the road.

I laid there for a while contemplating the day before sleep took me in for a peaceful night. No nightmares, just wonderful dreams of bookstores, Italian restaurants and this girl that I couldn't stop thinking about.


	6. Chapter 6

Haha! I don't know if anybody else noticed, but if you know the lay of the land in Washington you would know that it takes about three hours to drive from Forks to Seattle. And the shortest route would include a fucking ferry ride. SO... for the sake of this story, Seattle is just over the hill... :] Silly me. .

Sorry for the delay. My brain has been complete mush for the longest time and I have had no inspiration. I still don't have much, so I really hope this doesn't turn out to be crap. Please review and give me pointers, advice, etc. Just don't tell me to use google maps before I place cities and towns for my characters from now on (or Steph's, for that matter). I just learned that lesson on my own. :/ And for those brilliant few of you who already knew my mistake, I both appreciate and despise you for not pointing it out. ;)

Hope you guys don't hate it!

Chapter 6

I woke up on the couch the day after my date with Alice to a loud, obnoxious ringing. At first I thought that the sirens of death had come to signal my final moments on Earth. There's no way in hell someone can go to sleep that happy and wake up. But thankfully, or unfortunately, it was just my phone. Perhaps there isn't really a difference.

I groaned and sat up slowly, my back cracking from the uncomfortable place I had fallen asleep. I mentally patted myself on the back for ordering a new living room set before I picked up the phone from the coffee table. The caller I.D. Read "J. Black." _Why is Jacob calling me at eight on a Saturday?_ I yawned and hit the send button and cleared my throat. "Hello?"

"Bella." Jacob's voice sounded weary. "I need you to take over this serial killer story. I know you were giving me a huge break by handing it over, but I don't think this is my area of expertise."

I sighed before I realized how rude I might seem, biting back the groan that threatened to escape. "What's wrong, Jake? I thought you would do well with something like this." I got up and walked to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, breathing steadily to calm my frazzled nerves. I never took to waking up so roughly, especially on a weekend when I expected to sleep in. "You really are hard on yourself, you know. Your writing has improved dramatically since you were hired."

Over the receiver I heard the tall tale sound of a lighter being flicked, followed by a deep inhale. _God, already?_ I rolled my eyes. _This is just getting better and better_. _Fuck me._

It wasn't a widely known fact, but Jacob was something of a cannabis connoisseur. My 'live and let live' mentality had made him too comfortable with me about it, since I found the habit rather annoying in these particular circumstances. If it wasn't enough, Jacob began choke on his smoke, gagging and coughing right in my ear. After he caught his breath, he huffed into the phone. "I know, I know, but Edward doesn't like how I'm wording everything. He said you should at the very least go in today to edit my work on it so far."

Great. Just great. "Fine, I'll be in by 9:30 or so. I have to get ready. This is supposed to be my day off, you know."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. I have some Strawberry Kush if you want it." The excitement in his voice rattled my nerves even further and all thoughts of not being rude were thrown to the curb. "Jacob, if I am taking over this because you just want to have more time to get stoned," I started, my voice getting darker with each word. "I will make your life a living hell, I promise."

And with that I hung up the phone and mindlessly tossed it on the counter, grabbing a cup of coffee and chugging it on my way to the bathroom.

An hour later I was sitting in my office with a handful of loose paper that Jacob had given me. It was covered in half-legible scribbles and scratches. In other words, he should have given me some blank paper so I could write my own notes. Just looking at it my head started to throb. Jacob was usually a decent writer but I guess I overestimated him. I should have known, really. Jacob's usual assignments were incredibly linear. Murder mysteries didn't involve player stats and scores. Can you imagine if it did? Rising serial killer scores again, cops: zero.

_This is ridiculous. I should be at home catching up on some sleep, but instead I'm in the office trying not to tear my hair out._ Why couldn't Jacob use the computer to type his shit down just like everyone else? At least then he could have sent it to me through email and I would be happily cuddled up in a blanket on the couch instead of sitting in a cold, muggy office building. Life isn't fair, but this was just cruel. _Well fuck you, Edward. And fuck YOU, Jacob. _I gathered his notes in a folder alongside the notes I had already taken from the press conference and packed them in my briefcase, all the wile not paying attention to the nagging voice in my head constantly worried about what this series of murders could mean.

Seconds later my phone rang, evoking a tactless groan of annoyance that turned heads as I walked toward the exit. Instead of looking at the caller ID this time I tactfully picked up the phone and half-yelled, "What?"

"Well that's not the greeting I expected." An unexpected, melodic voice responded and I nearly tripped over my feet. _Shit. Oh shit. _

"I'm so sorry, Alice." I smacked myself on the forehead, nearly dying inside. "I thought you were someone else, I swear." I held my breath before I heard a chuckle float through the receiver. "Don't worry, Bella, no harm no foul." She laughed a little more but it didn't stop my blush from setting my face on fire and my heart from pounding out of my chest. But a wave of relief joined my anxiety and suddenly I felt...okay. I smiled for the first time all day.

"I'm glad you called," I said sincerely. "How are you?" I felt silly starting off with small talk. For the short time I had known her, Alice and I hardly made small talk. Conversation seemed more important with her than with other people I interacted with.

I pictured her with that trademark smirk she always wore whenever I did something to amuse her. Just thinking of it made me shiver. "I'm doing great, thanks. Yourself?" Her voice sounded wonderful in contrast to the nagging voices of Jacob and Edward from this morning and I nearly forgot all about them. My mind drifted to the night before and I got lost before I realized she was waiting for me to talk. "Very well, thank you. I had a great time with you last night, by the way. I wanted to tell you." I hoped that didn't sound desperate. I could feel that swelling in my chest in anticipation again. You know, that feeling you get when you're thirteen and discover your first crush. But, if it's possible, far more intense.

"I did, too. I'm glad you let me take you out." She breathed into the phone, her words sounding like music. _God am I cheesy..._ "I was actually wondering, and I hope this doesn't sound crazy since we just saw each other last night, but, I was...wondering if you would like to meet with me today?" Her confidence seemed to fade just a little as she started to ramble. Her nervousness was so charming but I still didn't know why a plain, boring person like me could rattle somebody so perfect in the slightest.

My smile grew ten times wider, I'm sure. "I would really like that, actually. I was just stepping out of the office. Going in on a day off is a bit of a downer." I laughed a little and she joined me.

"Hmm... I can imagine. You can tell me all about it if you come and see me." Her confidence was back. In my mind that smirk was on again but adorned with a pinch of smugness. Her voice sounded more sure knowing I had agreed to her proposition. Who could deny Alice Cullen? Certainly not me. "You know I'm open to suggestion. Where to?" I found myself agreeing so easily to something I normally would be so nervous about.

I heard a tapping noise, maybe a pencil or a nail drumming on a desk. "Hmm... Meet me at 3600 Admiral Way. I sit up here sometimes to sketch designs, but I feel like sharing this view with you." Her voice softened. "I think you'll like it here."

"I think I know where that is." I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "I'll be there in a few, if you are already there."

"I am, and I can't wait." I could hear her smile. "You'll see me. I'm pretty much the only one here."

"Okay. On my way."

I parked my truck on the side of Admiral Way and looked out of the window where I could see Alice sitting on a bench overlooking the Seattle skyline. Her dark, spiky hair was drifting slightly with the wind and her eyes looked like they were closed. I kept my eyes on her, transfixed, as I slowly got out of the cab. I focused with my other senses so as to not fall on my way out, a seemingly easy task for anyone else but myself, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. She looked so peaceful and at rest that I almost dreaded to break her from her meditative state.

Since I had woken up this morning it had been difficult to think of anything but that last moment we shared on my front porch. I had never experienced such intensity from anyone I had ever been with before, especially not from just one kiss. Just thinking about it made my chest stir and my stomach flip. That electricity... I didn't think that any of those feelings I had read about truly existed. And how _fast_ it seemed to emerge from me for this woman I had only just met! It was almost overwhelming. It _was_ overwhelming but not unwanted. It was frightening but new and exhilarating.

As I made my way to Alice's bench I was careful to tread softly on the slick pavement. It had been drizzling constantly since I left the house. The weather usually suited my mood, but at present I was more in the mood for some sunshine. Alice didn't look fazed at all, her eyes still closed once I had finally reached her. She didn't open them as she broke the silence.

"Hello, Bella." She smiled slightly before slowly peeking at me from behind her damp bangs, a smile making it's way across her features. "I'm glad you came." She patted the seat beside her and I happily made my way to her.

"Hi, Alice." I smiled back at her and spoke softly. "You look lovely." And she did. She wore a light gray, stylish rain jacket and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with a pair of black flats. Her hair, as usual, defied gravity even though it didn't even look like she had any gel in it. I wondered what product she used... Then I realized it wouldn't have made a difference to me. I knew nothing about product apart from hair spray. My hair didn't really do much apart from it's natural wave. It didn't friz, either, even in the terrible weather that usually inhabited Washington. One of the few good traits in my family.

Alice's eyes opened a little wider and I noticed that they seemed even more aureate than usual. If I didn't know better, I would think that they had been nearly black the night before... I was probably imagining it.

"Thank you for coming." She moved a little closer, her smile still in place. I felt her chilled hand grasp mine and despite the temperature it seemed to set my body on fire. My smile grew and I tightened my hold just a little, focusing on her golden orbs before moving in. She met me half way and once again our lips met for a brief but heart-stopping kiss. I felt the heat, the electricity from before, consume me for that small second we connected. But all too soon we had separated and I was left speechless, starring at her porcelain frame. I had to stop myself from uttering "God..." as we parted, for that would have been slightly awkward and would have given verbal evidence of the ridiculous hormonal rampage that was currently going on inside of me. I already went through the painful process of puberty, but when it came to Alice I felt like I was experiencing the volume of it all over again. Her presence saturated me and I couldn't hold in the shiver that ran down my spine as her eyes focused on my own.

Alice noticeably swallowed before speaking again. "You look beautiful." Her voice was barely over a whisper and her mouth was drawn into a shy little smirk, making my stomach bubble in little fits of butterflies. How on earth did she feel the same as me? "I hope I didn't take you away from something more important."

The way she says this suggests that she is a little nervous, which I find absolutely silly. Maybe I am not as obvious as I feel I am. I thought my body had betrayed just how unimportant everything else felt at the moment. In fact, I knew later I would have to remind myself that I even _had_ a job. Woe is me.

I simply shook my head, hoping my small smile was enough reassurance. For some reason my throat felt very dry and I had to clear it before I could speak again. "Of course not. I only had to go in because one of my writers dropped the ball on me. But I won't bore you with that." I shrugged a little, not wanting to bother her with my petty work problems. Like I said, they didn't feel so important right now.

She leaned slightly and whispered as if telling me an important secret. "You couldn't bore me if you tried." Her eyes twinkled in the faint light that filtered in from the sun. "What's going on?"

My eyes narrowed slightly, my smile still in place. "Smooth talker."

"Of course." She sat up with a proud grin spread across her face, her chest sticking out into the air in a dramatic fashion. It made me laugh and I had to stop myself from leaning in to kiss her again. Never in my life have I ever had to consciously practice so much self-restraint. "Now, seriously, what's going on? Work's important to you, I know that. I want to know you." The cockiness in her smile faded and she suddenly looked very much like a curious child, her head shifted slightly to the side.

"Well, you know about the supposed serial killer that's been hanging out in Seattle?" I tried to ignore the mocking voice in the back of my head. _Supposed..._ It hissed with irritation at me as I suppressed a cring. _You are absolutely pathetic. _

"You're writing on that?" Alice's smile was gone now, and she almost looked a little nervous.

I nodded, "Yes, now I am." I shifted my gaze to my hands which were unconsciously playing with the pull string of my jacket. "Initially I had been assigned to it, but I handed it over to my friend Jacob. He was with me at the bar that night we met." I smiled slightly and looked back to her. "He's actually the one that dragged me out that night, by the way. I guess I should thank him." My smile turned into a smirk that wasn't very different from hers. I guess she was rubbing off on me. That or I finally felt comfortable to do some outright flirting of my own. She smirked back and playfully bumped my arm with hers.

I realized in that moment that it was so easy to forget my worries and transgressions around Alice. Usually it would be very difficult for me to be thinking of anything other than the fact that my insides were telling me I was in some sort of danger. But with her I felt I was safe enough to pretend all of that didn't exist. Don't ask me why. For all I know my mental instability simply runs deeper than I thought and my 'fight or flight' instinct was broken. However, I knew that soon I would have to face the reality that something wasn't right in my little world. I tried to shrug it off the best I could. It was quickly coming back again.

"I'll have to thank him, too, I guess." She smirked at me, too, just a little before she sobered. "But I can tell you don't seem happy about this. What's wrong?"

Alice's expression was unreadable. Something inside told me she knew something... I couldn't place why I felt this way. Maybe it was because her eyes didn't hold the same curiosity they had before. They didn't seem to hold the question she asked, like she knew the answer but wanted me to tell her on my own.

I shook this thought off. _Probably thinking too much into this_. "I'm just sensitive to the subject, I guess." But the feeling didn't go away. Her eyes said so much, even if her face expressed something different. Should I tell her? I only just met her. I felt a deep, unnatural level of trust in her for whatever unexplained reason but was this too much for her to handle? For me to handle? I hardly addressed the issue on my own, if you could say I had at all. To lay everything out on the table for her would mean that it would be out for me to see as well.

Avoidance was obviously something I had gotten very good at. So when Alice's eyes seemed to search me for what I wasn't saying I felt myself look away to the skyline before us. My mouth suddenly felt like it had been stitched closed. My heart sunk. Bile rested in the back of my throat before moving down into my stomach to burn my insides. I felt terrible hiding this all of a sudden. All of this time I had hidden it from myself and I was fine, but now that I was hiding it from Alice I felt like my body was decomposing. I felt like I was on some kind of roller coaster, an analogy I didn't understand before now. One minute I forgot everything that was going wrong but with one, intense, x-ray glance from Alice and it was flooding back and begging to be released.

Nothing made any sense.

I had to leave. I couldn't say this yet. I wasn't ready. Nobody believed the whole story, anyway. At least not what happened to me. My family was rolling around in the grave.

I stood, Alice's hand leaving mine gently but very quickly the comfort was gone. It left it freezing. I tried to ignore the small gasp that left those perfect, pink lips of hers as I made my way from the bench to the rail sitting a few feet away. Running to my truck would be rude, wouldn't it? Should I even care at this point? Shouldn't I save her the trouble and just leave, erase her number from my phone and pretend that all I ever had before me was this? This weirdness inside?

It was stupid of me to think that I could retain a relationship with anyone whilst still so mentally insecure and volatile. My life was simply too fucked up, wasn't it? _Of course it was!_ My family was murdered right before me by a supernatural being that I couldn't place without people giving me looks of doubt and sympathy.

I stood there for a moment, my hands on the guard rail, the skyline in the distance fading from my vision as if it wasn't really there. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, the stinging of a panic attack beginning in my chest. _Shit, not here, not in the open._ I shut my eyes tighter. _Not in front of Alice._ God, I was a basket case. The color left my hands as I tightened my grip. It felt like I was trying to break the aluminum in my hands in half.

A minute later I felt skin on my own again and opened my eyes to see Alice standing next to me, gazing at me with a look of genuine concern and her hand holding mine. Guilt eroded my insides at that one look and I almost felt like I had betrayed her. _You just met her! _I kept telling myself. _She can't know what's happened to you! Especially not just now!_ FUCK!

A quiet, melodic voice filtered into my ears as I pressed my eyelids closed again. "Bella, please tell me what's wrong." She urged, so gently. "I know what happened to you. I know more than you think."

_What?_ "What?" I repeated my own thoughts, looking at her again. I could feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

"Bella, I know what happened to you. I know what really happened to your family." Alice spoke softly. "I see you are hurting and I want to be here for you." Her words came out hurried and quiet. "I've always wanted to be here. I've waited so long to be here. Please." The last part was so quiet it was almost drowned out by the wind.

My mind went blank. Shock. Nothing she said made sense.

"Wait a minute." I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of all of the confusion that rushed in so suddenly.

"Bella, I think we need to talk. I didn't think... I just..." Her voice broke slightly. "I need to tell you something. I need you to trust me."

This all felt so rushed. It felt... right, though, at the same time. How could it? I don't know. It was all so fucking confusing. But Alice's hand caressing my own felt like _home_. HOME? _What is WRONG with me? _

I took in deep breaths again before looking back into her eyes. I only saw warmth, comfort, sincerity... _Maybe..._ Maybe I could talk to her. I felt like I could. _Don't fight it_, something inside of me said. But another part of me screamed and told me to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

A tear finally escaped from me, rolling down my cheek all on it's own. Before I realized what she was doing, Alice moved closer to me and pressed her lips against it, that electricity sending shocks into my skin, down my legs and into my feet that seemed to barely be able to hold my weight anymore.

This meeting went from being completely flippant and wonderful to heavy and dramatic so quickly I felt like I had whiplash. How come every emotion I had seemed to spill out the second I was in front of Alice? Why could I not suppress myself as I normally did around everyone else?

"Come with me." Alice's hand tugged on my own and she dragged me to her car that was parked a few places in front of mine. "We'll talk. I'll tell you everything."


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a while since I've updated. So sorry. I haven't been really all that... inspired. Just went through a bit of a family mess. Life is all better, so hopefully my writing will be more consistent. I'm trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with this story. I'm just winging it at this point which I'm disappointed by. My Bellatrix/Hermione story is in the same boat but I plan on writing something for that this evening, for those of you who might be reading that one, too.

This is a shorter chapter than I would like. I couldn't find it in me to write the rest as it would have stopped awkwardly. This seemed more appropriate. The next chapter will come sooner than this one, I assure you. Note, I was very tired when I wrote this. I usually read over them a few times, but not with this one. Too exhausted. :( Hope you like it anyway! You'll prefer the next.

XOXO

I couldn't really refuse when Alice took me to her car, even though all I really wanted to do was lay down and suck my thumb. Not sit in her car and bear what was likely to be awkward silence while she drove us... Well, I didn't know where. The desire to be near her was making my heart hammer so hard in my chest that I could barely breathe. I wanted it to stop. I couldn't take all of these conflicting emotions at once. My heart (a cheesy metaphor for the estrogen, testosterone, serotonin -yada yada, what have you- running rampant inside of the _illogical_ part of my brain) was telling me that I needed to be with her right now. But my mind (the _logical_ part of it) was saying exactly the opposite. _You need time on your own. You need time to process._ You need. You need. You need. What the fuck do I need?

And yeah, needless to say the drive was tense. Silent. Well, as silent as it can be when your ears are ringing. I pinched my nose and shut my eyes tight, trying desperately for it all to just go away. The silence, the noise, the jumbled, sporadic, confusing thoughts. The blender that my brain was placed in, **it** needed to stop. All of it. Stop, stop, stop.

I wished that I would wake up. Hoped that all of this was just some silly dream. A silly, confusing, ridiculous dream. Alice didn't know anything about my past. Anything about _me_ apart from my favorite color, what I liked to eat, what books I've read. All of the unimportant, miniscule parts of me. Not the things she was hinting at. Not what happened. Not what's potentially happening now.

But I'm not that stupid. I knew. She knew.

I knew I was being crazy. My anxiety tends to make me overreact and feel like my world is caving in. Just months before I had gotten stuck in an elevator at the mall with Jacob and nearly had a heart attack. It was a windowed elevator, too, so everyone on both the first _and_ second floor could see me, eyes bulging, breathing hard and gripping the handrails like I was on the Titanic. At least now I didn't look quite so moronic, my heavy breathing only slightly noticeable with my eyes closed. ...I probably still looked insane.

Okay, think clearly. What did she say?_ "I know what happened to your family." _Well, that was pretty direct. I understand that much, unfortunately. But what was that other thing? _"__I've always wanted to be here. I've waited so long to be here."_

Well that_ doesn't _make a lot of sense. Not at all. She has always wanted to be here? She's waited so long to be here? I did not, could not understand. The only logical explanation would be that she's a creepy stalkers, maybe drawn to me by the accident or something. I nearly asked her this but it didn't seem right at all. She's was far too normal. Well, _sort of._ There was something different about her that I couldn't place but it wasn't _that_ kind of different.

Besides, it would be completely narcissistic of me to think that anyone would find me interesting enough to stalk.

_But he did, didn't he? _Don't think about that, just calm down. Think like an adult. A _fully functioning_ adult.

My mind battled with itself for a few more minutes before it turned off. Not that I'm complaining. My heart-rate declined to a normal level and my chest didn't feel tight anymore. I could finally breathe again. I felt Alice's eyes on me but I had zoned out and couldn't tear my eyes from the yellow lines dotting the road. "Where are we going?" I spoke softly, my voice a little raspy.

"I don't know. Somewhere you feel comfortable?"

Her voice seemed to relax me further. She sounded sincere, reminding me that I didn't have anything to really freak out about. Alice was respectful. It made me feel embarrassed by my overreaction. More than embarrassed. Ashamed. But I shrugged the feeling aside and decided to simply focus on the words exchanging. I drummed my thigh with my fingers, the tapping a coping mechanism I seemed to develop over time. I couldn't think of anywhere in particular where I 'felt comfortable,' so I just pulled something out from thin air. "I don't have any place special. How about Voula's? They have good coffee." (I didn't want to mention that they also had the best biscuits and gravy I ever had in my life. My eating habits were not something to boast about.)

"Sure." I could see her nod from my peripheral vision and finally broke out of my trance to fully turn my head. She had a small smile on the road that faded into a serious expression. She didn't look angry, just concerned.

"What did you mean when you said you 'always wanted to be here?'" I made air quotations, keeping my face as expressionless as possible. I didn't want her to see just how absolutely confused I was. "You've only known me for a short time."

"Well, it's a long explanation." She narrowed her eyes in thought. "I hope you don't think I'm some kind of stalker." She smirked a little, her eyes moving between me and the road like she knew what I had been thinking. I blushed. "I have a lot to tell you. Let me buy you that coffee and I'll tell you everything, scouts' honor."

I suppressed a chuckle despite the situation and turned my attention back to the buildings outside of the window.

Xxx

Voula's was thankfully empty, which was a rarity at this time of day. The weather had taken a turn for the worse, the rain coming down hard. It was pelting the windows so loudly it sounded like hail.

We were sat at a table off to the side. More privacy. I ordered a coffee and played with the menu sitting in front of me. I felt Alice studying me so I moved my eyes to her's, challenging. "Well, tell me all you want to tell me. I'm really confused by the tenses you used." A sarcastic chuckle escaped as I looked down at the menu again and flipped it open, pretending to look through it. I was really not that hungry but Alice insisted that I get something to eat. I didn't understand why since she refused a menu to begin with. She didn't even ask for a drink and the water the waitress brought over by default was pushed to the side.

Alice placed a hand over my own, trying to get my attention. I wasn't expecting the gesture and flinched at the temperature. Freezing cold. She withdrew and I looked up at her with what I hoped was an apologetic smile. It probably looked forced.

She sighed and looked around to make sure we were safe from attention before ducking her head, eyes intensely focused on my own. "Before I go any further I want you to know that you can trust me. I'm not here to hurt you. And if you leave here never wanting to see me again," She paused. Her voice got quiet. "I will understand and respect that."

"Okay." I nodded and sipped my coffee. It wasn't as good as usual.

Alice breathed in and sighed heavily, "Okay. I suppose I should start off by telling you that I know who is responsible for your family's death."

I gulped and tried to keep my eyes on the coffee, willing away the emotions that were bubbling in my gut. She continued slowly. Carefully.

"I understand that it was... Unorthodox. He was strong. Fast. Red eyes. Am I right?"

I had trouble keeping my jaw shut, finding myself nauseous. I could only nod.

"He wasn't human, Bella."

My head snapped up and took in Alice's expression. She was serious, not mocking like I expected. _I knew it. _

"You weren't crazy. My father knew it, of course, but he wasn't in the position to tell you. He wanted to leave that to me."

"Why?"

"We're not there yet, though that is definitely something I want to tell you." She paused. "Well, I'm hesitant, but you get what I mean."

"I guess." I sipped my coffee, eyes still on her.

"The man who attacked you... His name is James. And... This is the difficult part." She sighed again and her eyes seemed to grow dark. James. He said his name was James. I never told anyone this before, so she had to be telling the truth.

"James is a vampire."


End file.
